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Reverse psychology, or strategic self-anticonformity, is a common manipulation technique that involves advocating for a behavior or belief that is different from the one desired in order to get what you want or convince someone to do what is actually desired.
This strategic tactic relies on the psychological phenomenon of reactance. Reactance refers to the negative emotions or uncomfortable feelings a person experiences when being persuaded or when feeling like their autonomy is threatened.
By suggesting the opposite of what is genuinely desired, the subject will typically choose the option that is being advocated against.
The goal of reverse psychology is to make someone feel this sense of reactance, so they push back against your stated demands, and assuming you have demanded what you do not want, they will likely do what you want.
Reverse psychology is also referred to as strategic self-anticonformity because you are advocating for a result that goes directly against what you actually want.
The official definition of reverse psychology, according to the Cambridge English Dictionary, is: “a method of trying to make someone do what you want by asking them to do the opposite and expecting them to disagree with you.”
The subject of this manipulation tactic is generally unaware of what is really going on and what the other person’s true motives are.
Examples of reverse psychology
Even if you were not aware of it, nearly everyone has used reverse psychology on someone or had it used on them. We will discuss a number of common examples of reverse psychology in everyday life so you can understand how it is used, why it works, and recognize reverse psychology when it happens again.
In marketing
Marketing strategies often utilize the techniques of reverse psychology to encourage people to buy goods and services. For example, in a 2007 study on reverse psychology in marketing, Indrajit Sinha and Thomas Foscht describe an example of reverse psychology tactics utilized by a Prada store in Manhattan, New York City.
The store has no outdoor signage or advertising, and there are no indicators that the store even exists. This gives the store a sense of mystery and exclusivity because only those who know the store is there will visit it. Shoppers who do not want to be excluded will be more likely to visit this store to feel like they are worthy and belong.
In sales
Sales strategies use similar techniques as described above. One common tactic used by salespeople is called the “door in the face” technique. This is when a salesperson makes an outrageously high sales pitch to pressure the customer to buy whatever good or service is being sold.
However, the salesperson is not actually trying to make that sale. They are really trying to provoke the customer to push back and make a smaller offer but still purchase the product in the end. For example, if a dealer is trying to sell a car, the dealership would pitch the most expensive, high-tech car that it knows the customer can not afford.
When the customer turns the offer down, the dealer then pitches the actual car they wanted to sell – one that is much more affordable. The more modest car now seems like a more reasonable buy for the consumer.
In parenting
Parents often use reverse psychology to influence their child’s behavior and get them to do what they want them to do. Parents will prompt their children to choose what is best for them so the children feel like they are making the decision for themselves when in reality, they are under the spell of reverse psychology.
For example, if a parent wants their kid to eat vegetables, the parent might ask, “Can mom have your broccoli? You don’t want it.” The kid is likely to do the opposite and eat the broccoli himself.
In relationships
People use reverse psychology in relationships to get their partners to act a certain way. For example, one partner might suggest that they do not think their partner can handle the task of making the bed each morning since they do not have time.
The partner might respond by making the bed to prove their partner wrong. Using reverse psychology in relationships can be destructive, though, because your partner might lose faith in your words and become hurt if they realize you are trying to manipulate them.
Does reverse psychology work?
Reverse psychology can work because when people feel pressured to act a certain way, they tend to prefer to do the opposite. This is based on Brehm’s (1966) reactance theory which suggests that an individual who feels a threat to his or her sense of freedom will experience discomfort that motivates the re-establishment of that freedom.
Two studies from 2010 by psychologists Geoff MacDonald, Paul Nail, and Jessie Harper examined reports of the real-world use of reverse psychology and investigated the prevalence and effectiveness of its use in everyday life.
The researchers concluded that reverse psychology is a relevant, real-world influence tactic that deserves closer study by social influence researchers. Participants in both studies reported successful use of reverse psychology in their own lives.
Specifically, in the first study, a majority of participants (105/159, or 66%) reported an example of reverse psychology that was judged to be valid by two independent raters and also reported using the tactic more than once per month on average. The results of Study 2 confirmed the real-world relevance of reverse psychology.
It is important to note, though, that reverse psychology does not work in every case, and using reverse psychology can have inherent risks. Many factors must come into play for this tactic to work successfully, and some people are more susceptible to reverse psychology than others.
In another recent paper on using reverse psychology to embed Life Cycle Thinking and knowledge of Sustainable Development Goals (SDG) in design and engineering curricula, psychologists Deborah Andrews, Ben Lishman, and Elizabeth Newton describe a case study where first-year engineering and design students were asked to develop the most unsustainable concept and to negate as many SDGs as possible to spur creativity and innovation.
The researchers found that reverse psychology “can be used to create enjoyable and educationally memorable experiences that highlight the need for good practice.” They even found that subsequent assignments asking for sustainable design proposals were of a higher standard than those from previous years.
When reverse psychology does not work
People with easygoing, flexible personalities tend to be less susceptible to fall for reverse psychology because they are not as likely to feel reactance. People who are irritable, stubborn, and emotional, on the other hand, tend to be more prone to reactance.
Additionally, children aged 2 to 4 are more susceptible to reverse psychology because kids in this age range can be more emotional and rebellious.
They are also less cognitively developed and may not realize that their parents are using reverse psychology on them. But, around age 4, children tend to be more aware and mature and thus less susceptible to these techniques.
Rebellious teens are also more likely to fall for reverse psychology because they tend to want to assert their independence by doing the opposite of what their parents tell them.
Even though they have the cognitive ability to recognize the clues of reverse psychology, their reactance may be so strong that they still do the opposite of what is demanded.
Reverse psychology has a number of potential consequences that you should consider before deciding to use this technique. First, if people feel like you are intentionally trying to manipulate them, they will lose trust in you and question your morality.
This has the potential to undermine your relationships because others will not be able to trust what you are saying or what your true motives are. Additionally, reverse psychology has the potential to backfire.
If you are using reverse psychology on someone who tends to be low maintenance or more agreeable, they might just agree with what you are saying, and thus you will end up getting the opposite of what you actually want.
Reverse psychology can also rob the other person of the chance to have a voice in something that might matter to them, so while it is a technique that will get you what you want, it can come at the cost of having less-meaningful relationships.
Is reverse psychology a type of manipulation?
Yes, reverse psychology is a type of manipulation. Similar to passive-aggressive behavior, reverse psychology is an indirect approach to getting what you want.
While reverse psychology can be useful in many situations, it can also be harmful and devious, especially when used on close friends or family. If a person feels like you are always using this technique to get them to do what you want, it can leave them feeling taken advantage of and destroy the trust in the relationship.
If this is a tool you consistently use in your relationship, then your relationship can become based on dishonesty and lies. It is better, to be honest and direct with your loved ones as opposed to manipulative and sneaky.
Reverse psychology can be especially unfavorable when used on someone with low self-esteem. These individuals often do not trust their own judgments, so they are more likely to put greater weight on your opinions.
If you try to use reverse psychology tactics on someone with little self-confidence, your strategy is likely to backfire. And, if the individual catches on to your manipulation, you will leave them feeling particularly troubled and hurt.
Additionally, if you rely heavily on reverse psychology techniques, you might miss the opportunity to share your life authentically and lose sight of your ability to communicate directly and effectively.
Children and teens also might be able to pick up on the manipulation tactics of their parents and use them to their own advantage.
You should be wary when using reverse psychology on your children because you do not want to make a habit of rewarding your child for doing the opposite of what you say.
While reverse psychology is a manipulation technique, there are still many scenarios where this tactic can help lead another person in a positive direction! It only becomes problematic when the influencer is using reverse psychology for their own benefit.
But, you should always consider honest communication before settling for reverse psychology when trying to get someone to make a certain choice.
Frequently asked questions
Which types of people are more susceptible to reverse psychology?
The populations most susceptible to reverse psychology are teenagers, children, narcissists, sociopaths, and those with type A personalities. People who are stubborn and contentious tend to be more prone to reactance. Those who are grounded, compliant, and easygoing are typically less susceptible to reverse psychology.
Can you use reverse psychology on yourself?
Yes. You can tell yourself that you cannot do something, and then you will be more motivated to challenge yourself and prove that you can. For example, I will tell myself that I can’t run a 5k. I will then use this criticism as internal motivation to prove myself wrong and run the 5k.
Does reverse psychology work on a narcissist?
Yes, reverse psychology is very likely to work on those with narcissistic personalities because these individuals like to be in control and make decisions for themselves.
How can you deal with someone who is using reverse psychology on you?
If you think that someone else is trying to use reverse psychology on you, there are a few things you can do. Once you realize someone is attempting to use reverse psychology on you, one option is to ask them to explain why they suggested the choice they are arguing for.
This can create an opportunity for the other person to mess up and possibly expose that they are trying to manipulate you.
You might decide to go with the originally selected plan and pretend that you didn’t notice the attempted manipulation, or you could pick the option they clearly don’t want you to pick.
Either way, you should focus on which option is best for you rather than on what the other person is trying to get you to do.
Lastly, you should not be afraid to call out the other person on their use of reverse psychology so they will be less likely to try the same tactic on you again in the future.
What is ‘reverse reverse’ psychology?
‘Reverse reverse’ psychology is another manipulation technique that involves prompting people to do what you want them to do in situations where the other person might be expecting you to try and use reverse psychology on them.
Essentially, when using reverse reverse psychology, you want the target person to think that you’re using reverse psychology on them in order to get them to challenge your efforts and do what you originally prompted them to do, which is what you wanted them to do all along.
Sources
BetterHelp Editorial Team. (2022, October 5). Reverse Psychology: What Is It, And Does It Work? BetterHelp. Retrieved 2023, March 14, from: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/psychologists/reverse-psychology-what-is-it-and-does-it-work/
Cherry, K. (2023, February 28). What Is Reverse Psychology? VeryWellMind. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-reverse-psychology-5115635
MacDonald, G., Nail, P. R., & Harper, J. R. (2011). Do people use reverse psychology? An exploration of strategic self-anticonformity. Social Influence, 6(1), 1-14.
Rice, A. (2021, September 27). All about Reverse Psychology. PsychCentral. https://psychcentral.com/health/reverse-psychology
Shatz, I. (n.d.). Reverse Psychology: Getting People to Do Something By Asking for the Opposite. Effectiviology. Retrieved 2023, March 14, from: https://effectiviology.com/reverse-psychology/
Sinha, I., & Foscht, T. (2007). Reverse psychology marketing: The death of traditional marketing and the rise of the new “pull” game. Palgrave Macmillan.
